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Elevator Etiquette

What is it with people not knowing how this whole getting on and off the elevator thing works? If I'm not on my bike, I'm in an elevator and I can tell you there is a whole power game that goes on when people are cueing at those big metal doors. People seem to think its a competition to get on the damn things and start jockeying for position as soon as the bell rings. Well, here are some tips for the etiquettely challenged:

1) When the elevator doors open on your floor, allow people exiting the elevator to go first. The reasoning for this is simple: an elevator is just a container, and once full, a container cannot be filled more; therefore, let exiting passengers off first so there's more room for you to get on.

2) Remember, its not a competition. If you know you're going to be getting off the elevator on the third floor as opposed to the tenth floor, don't try to be the first person on the elevator! Hang back and get on last. That way, one is already up front when the doors open. This, in particular, seems to be a female problem. Ladies, just because you have tits, does not mean you automatically get to go first! I can't tell you how many times a day I see a woman or groups of women become indignant when the elevator doors open and men start getting on first. I have seen women push their way through the doors so they get on first (giving that 'You are a rude man for not letting a lady go first,' look) and are in the back of the elevator car. But they're only going to the second floor so now they have to push their way out of the elevator.
 
3) Do not get on the elevator then stand there holding the door open while you continue a conversation with someone in the hall who is not getting on the elevator!
 
4) Finally, if you work in a building where the stairwells are not secured (locked between floors), use the fucking stairs! If you are going up less than five floors, use the fucking stairs! If you are going down less than ten floors, use the fucking stairs! If you are a big, fat person, for whom repeated trips up and down the stairs might do some good, use the fucking stairs!
 
I think I'm done for now. Please feel free to leave your own elevator pet peeves!





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