So we had our little BBQ yesterday; lets just say there were two distinct parties that happened. There was “The Clark Show,” which took place early on, and the “normal party,” that was later in the evening. Ultimately, I have to take responsibility for The Clark Show, because I invited Peggy (the girl in the picture below) whom I work with, and she naturally brought her boyfriend of a few years with her. Now, I had talked to this girl at work, even puffed with her after work, and had perfectly normal, rational conversations. There was no way I could have known about what was to come.
Clark and Peggy arrived about 5:30 PM. They did bring food. He had a ‘40’ of Miller, and she had a big bottle of Bass Ale (good beer). After introductions were made all around, I pulled out my stash and loaded one. Now, during the introductions, Clark seemed like a normal person. But, dude, when we smoked, it was like flippin’ a switch. Jessica said it was like watching the old cult classic, Reefer Madness, and I agree, because Clark just went insane. Not violent or anything (although I kept a close eye on him for anything like that), but he definitely took “pretentious, loud, obnoxious, bore,” to a whole new fucking level! But it was more than that though. As Jerimiah said, “There were no filters. None of the normal, social inhibitors were in play. Everything was straight from Clark’s cerebellum to you.” It was three and a half hours of verbal vomit.
When he wasn’t asking what any sane person would expect to be a rhetorical question, yet expecting an answer, he would sit there and sway back and forth with his eyes closed, moving his hands in the air and mumble nonsense, non-sequiters to himself and then cackle out loud if he got something to rhyme. He expounded at great length about his “opera” he wants to produce. He wants to put musicians making music and actors acting on a set and then film them being filmed. He expects that this mish-mash of medium and genre will be the next big thing in the art world. He expects to become famous from this. Really.
At one point he asserted that America was “a nation of actors, directors and musicians,” and demanded that Jessica ‘direct’ him in a scene. She actually got him to shut up for about four minutes because she wouldn’t tell him anything to do! He’d start to speak and she’d say, “Wait for it!” and he’d shut up for a minute. She told him that five or six times until he just couldn’t restrain himself anymore and he launched in to some rant about music. Then he ranted about film directors no one had heard of. He ranted about how brilliant he was.
Then there was “The Albatross Riddle.” Here it is: A man walks into a restaurant and orders the albatross. He takes one bite, pulls out a gun and shoots himself in the head, killing himself instantly. Why?
Now, we were told there really was an answer to this but when no one seemed interested in venturing a guess as to what it could be, he acted out the scene for us.
Anyway, I could go on and on. At one point Peggy, who was obviously embarrassed at times, tried something of an apology to Jerimiah by saying that Clark was “ a little bit socially inept, and pot enhances it.” So my question is, “Where the hell was that warning up front?!” All she had to do was give a heads up; “Please don’t get my boyfriend stoned.” I’m telling ya, man, this kid should come with an instruction manual. I’m sayin it was so bad that I intend to have a little chat with Peggy to let her know she really should, in fact, give fair warning to any future prospective party hosts that marijuana makes her boyfriend go insane.
Anyway, we got them to leave by not offering them anything else when they had finished their beers. Peggy came in to the kitchen where I was putting more beer in the fridge and hinted at possibly puffing some more but, dude, I was having none of that.
Anyhow, The Clark Show was finally over about 8:30 and some more people came over and we had a lovely evening out on the back deck, although, those of us who witnessed The Clark Show felt (and still feel this morning) a little violated.
Clark and Peggy arrived about 5:30 PM. They did bring food. He had a ‘40’ of Miller, and she had a big bottle of Bass Ale (good beer). After introductions were made all around, I pulled out my stash and loaded one. Now, during the introductions, Clark seemed like a normal person. But, dude, when we smoked, it was like flippin’ a switch. Jessica said it was like watching the old cult classic, Reefer Madness, and I agree, because Clark just went insane. Not violent or anything (although I kept a close eye on him for anything like that), but he definitely took “pretentious, loud, obnoxious, bore,” to a whole new fucking level! But it was more than that though. As Jerimiah said, “There were no filters. None of the normal, social inhibitors were in play. Everything was straight from Clark’s cerebellum to you.” It was three and a half hours of verbal vomit.
When he wasn’t asking what any sane person would expect to be a rhetorical question, yet expecting an answer, he would sit there and sway back and forth with his eyes closed, moving his hands in the air and mumble nonsense, non-sequiters to himself and then cackle out loud if he got something to rhyme. He expounded at great length about his “opera” he wants to produce. He wants to put musicians making music and actors acting on a set and then film them being filmed. He expects that this mish-mash of medium and genre will be the next big thing in the art world. He expects to become famous from this. Really.
At one point he asserted that America was “a nation of actors, directors and musicians,” and demanded that Jessica ‘direct’ him in a scene. She actually got him to shut up for about four minutes because she wouldn’t tell him anything to do! He’d start to speak and she’d say, “Wait for it!” and he’d shut up for a minute. She told him that five or six times until he just couldn’t restrain himself anymore and he launched in to some rant about music. Then he ranted about film directors no one had heard of. He ranted about how brilliant he was.
Then there was “The Albatross Riddle.” Here it is: A man walks into a restaurant and orders the albatross. He takes one bite, pulls out a gun and shoots himself in the head, killing himself instantly. Why?
Now, we were told there really was an answer to this but when no one seemed interested in venturing a guess as to what it could be, he acted out the scene for us.
Anyway, I could go on and on. At one point Peggy, who was obviously embarrassed at times, tried something of an apology to Jerimiah by saying that Clark was “ a little bit socially inept, and pot enhances it.” So my question is, “Where the hell was that warning up front?!” All she had to do was give a heads up; “Please don’t get my boyfriend stoned.” I’m telling ya, man, this kid should come with an instruction manual. I’m sayin it was so bad that I intend to have a little chat with Peggy to let her know she really should, in fact, give fair warning to any future prospective party hosts that marijuana makes her boyfriend go insane.
Anyway, we got them to leave by not offering them anything else when they had finished their beers. Peggy came in to the kitchen where I was putting more beer in the fridge and hinted at possibly puffing some more but, dude, I was having none of that.
Anyhow, The Clark Show was finally over about 8:30 and some more people came over and we had a lovely evening out on the back deck, although, those of us who witnessed The Clark Show felt (and still feel this morning) a little violated.
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