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Out On the Porch

Okay, so, about an hour ago (2:45 AM), my girlfriend and I were awakened by the sounds of loud moaning. It was coming from outside, and at first, I thought that perhaps one of our neighbors was getting a blowjob or something on his porch. Our building is only 15 feet or so from our neighbor's, so we'd be able to hear through our open window. But then I noticed that I didn't hear any noises that sounded like sex, or a blowjob, and I didn't hear anybody else, just moaning. So I put on my robe and went outside and looked up to see my neighbor's, feet hanging over his porch. "Rick?" I said, "Are you alright?"

"Mumble....mumble....yeah, s'okay," he slurred back.
"Do you need any help?"
"Mumble.....no....s'alright."

My man Rick was five sheets to the wind. So I went over to his building
and up the stairs and sure enough, he was passed out on his porch and
he smelled like a distillery. I shook him awake and got his keys and
let him into his apartment.

Now it's quarter-to-four in the morning and I can't sleep! It's gonna be a long day.

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